Fuck Your ‘Ism, or Nothing At All

A friend and I got into a spirited political debate yesterday.  He was frustrated -which I understand – because I wouldn’t declare an ideology, pick a team, line up with a side.  He wanted to know – what am I?

And the answer is nothing.

I am nothing.

I am P. Goddamn Sully.  And if that’s not good enough, too damn bad.  Because I won’t sport your logo.  Fuck your ‘ism.

I am loathe to align myself with anarchism or liberalism or communism.  I am loathe to label myself in any “ism” at all.  I wish only to be me – to think and explore freely, unbound by the constraints of some label.  If some of my ideas or beliefs fall in line with anarchism, so be it.  If others do not, so be that as well.  If some fall in line with some other ‘ism and others do not, so be that too.  They are mine to find the metes and bounds of and I reject any constraint, well meaning or not.  I refuse to jump into a pre-fabricated box, no matter how much room to run its owners promise I may have once inside.   I want to read everything, explore everything, debate everything.  And in doing so, I reserve - unequivocally - the right to accept what I think is right and true and good and to reject all else.  I will take what is true from whatever its source, regardless of what else I may as full heartedly reject from that same source.  I will do so freely, without allegiance to some pre-determined ideology.  I refuse to define myself on someone else’s terms.  I am me and I will do and think as I please.

I was reading Volume II of Living My Life by Emma Goldman this morning.  Goddamn I love EG.  I love her story and find myself connecting to her deeply – she is honest and raw, throwing all the bits and pieces of her life on the page.  Incredible – unbelievable, really - stories of her work fall adjacent to tales of the personal – a crush gone wrong, jealously, personal insecurity.  I love that.  I love how honest she is.  But I think what I love most about her writing is her ability to acknowledge her own changes and transformations over the years – the rejection of ideas she once accepted, the acceptance of ideas she once rejected, the bending of certain ideals (and the fierce refusal to bend on others).  Her’s is not just the story of her life, it is the story of the growth of an activist, a reminder that we will change and that we need to be open minded enough to allow ourselves to.

I want to be in a place where I can always come together, always collaborate, always be open to what is new, what is radical, what is innovative, what is creative, what works.  I’m not saying you can’t do those things while lining up with a particular ideology or set of ideas.  You can and I know I lot of people who do.  But I can’t.  I feel shackled and hemmed in and I hate it.  So I won’t do it.

So fuck ‘isms.  Fuck dogma.  Fuck boxes.  Fuck labels.  Fuck intellectual constraints.

Embrace good ideas.  Reject injustice.  Live compassion.  Stand together.  Love.  Fight.  That’s what I want to be.